Him, My Unrequited First Love ?

 Last night I dream about him, we were at our highschool and he suddenly wanted to be with me, I just felt... wanted to cry and said no ! During Form 2, I like you until Form 6 and I told you but you ignored it  so no way it gonna be easy as that ! And I left to cry, he's followed me to see me from far away crying alone (I think I watch too many kdrama) 

I didn't remember the details after that but I think he soften my heart but I woke up so yeah, I remember how my heart felt blooming everytime I dream about him. 

I don't know whether I just haven't seen anyone like him during my life or my mind just don't wanna let it go. I don't even stalk his ig or anything related to him anymore for these years. But there he is, sometimes comes in my mind on unexpected times. I was happy in the dream and I hate that.

But yesterday was his birthday and I wish him but didn't even feel anything, I think. I also think he has a girlfriend now and his friends are all getting married so I think he will too, soon. 

I hope I can let him go one day and doesn't let my heart go blooming for something that are not mine. 

If you ask why I didn't just told him now that we are older, I just think I not perfect for him and I don't even perfectly handled myself yet. I just wanted to wish him happiness.

 If it's meant to be, it will be.